nerdleader

I am reading “The Way of Kings” by Brandon Sanderson this week and much is being said of honor. Over the past few months I have talked about Integrity and Honor a few times. Integrity is doing what is right even when nobody is watching, and Honor is about doing things right when you ARE being watched:

“Integrity starts with doing the right thing even if no one is watching and you are the only person who knows about it. Being a good example of integrity means being accountable for your actions and admitting when you make mistakes. Do the right thing, do not lie, and do not dissemble. Treat everyone fairly and consistently and do not send others to do things that you yourself would not do.”

“Honor is the public side of integrity - being known to be upstanding and having integrity. It means that you can be counted on to do the right thing. Leaders must act with integrity and honor.”

The Way of Kings (and specifically, Brandon Sanderson) has varying characters showing honor and leadership – and the lack of honor – in spades. I am a bit possessed lately with the idea of being a good example and being honorable, because let us face facts – our loudest/most popular (i.e. most entertaining) role models are the least honor-bound lately. I wanted to talk about it less from a personal standpoint, and more about what it means to have honor when we are responsible for others in a day to day capacity. Let us investigate obligation and duty.

Doing what is right can be highly subjective. What is “right”? Does might make right? Do we follow selfishness / objectivism? Or do we maximize benefit via utilitarianism? I have a personal answer to these questions, but I do not have a universal answer. I do know that we have obligations and duties to ourselves and others, and those are the cornerstone of honor. After all, if we do not owe others the truth or our allegiance, what purpose do integrity or honor serve?

• Obligations – what we owe to each other by virtue of our privileges or contracts
• Duty – moral commitments we owe based on circumstance and happenings

Obligations are those items we must do because we have other related privileges. We live in a democracy, so we are obligated to protect it and to vote, for example. As a leader, we are obligated to lead, of course, but we are obligated to care for and develop those whom we are leading. We must be vigilant for opportunities to fulfill our obligations and recognize when it is time to act. We are obligated to go first during difficult conversations, take blame when it is due, and otherwise model the behaviors we expect our team to have. We must listen, be a shoulder to cry on, and take responsibility when something goes wrong. It is right to feel obligated. Stay late if your team stays late. Fill in the gaps that need filling, etc. You have the privilege to lead – it is certainly not a right – and therefore, you have obligations.

Duty is certainly a related concept. Duties come with the role just like obligations do, but duty is more about what your honor says you MUST do when something occurs; how you must react when you let your conscience be your guide. If someone comments harassment, you have a duty to step in and tell HR. You have a duty to your parents to see that they are looked after when they are older. It is not a contractual obligation and it is not by virtue of privilege – it is a moral decision. While obligations are often explicit (or well understood when implicit), duties can be fulfilled in a myriad of ways, and sometimes not at all.

It can be quite easy to go overboard when it comes to duty. We can have old-fashioned or overblown senses of honor, for example, when we care much more about our reputation than our personal integrity. We can have massive prejudices when we ascribe weakness to others and strengths to ourselves, corrupting our sense of honor. It is important that we take the time to understand our place in life and history so that we may have a strong, relevant sense of honor. We must have a solid foundation on which to build a sense of duty on top of. A warped sense of honor plus a warped sense of duty will create havoc.

In any event, we are all obligated to each other whether we like it or not. We are but stewards of this world, put into power for a few decades only. We must treat each other respectfully and remember that honor and integrity necessarily mean that we have significant duties to our teams. It is our privilege to lead, and there are responsibilities that come along with it.